| OcToBeR 8 - 10 2005 |
| Saturday October 8 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I dont know whats up with Becky! Shes said lots of times she wants to work on her Daddys tribute for my website but then when we start working on it she wants to do something else. I think its really hard for her. I cant believe what it would be like to lose ur Daddy. Its even hard only seeing my Daddy once every weekend. Of course I didnt see him at all for a year cept when I went back on vacation. Thats when he lived with my aunts in Ohio. But its weird but in some ways its harder cuz hes closer. I dont know how to explain it. Ok were going to see a movie! later Guess what? Mindys got a date for homecoming! And hes a senior! Isnt that kewl? I dont really know him but his name is Jody and hes in orchestra with her. Its weird cuz Mindy doesnt even talk about him much but now hes her date! I dont have one but I dont care. Deno wants me to go with him of course but really I think I should date somebody else b4 I date him again. Anyway the movie was kewl! We saw Corpse Bride. The ppl who went were Becky, Hunter, Herbie and I so it was almost like a double date! I thought we were taking Stacy and Carie but they had to do something else. I had fun but it was weird being with Herbie. Cuz of course Becky and Hunter r dating and Herbie and I used to date and we used to all double date. Becky even talked about parking after and I was like Becky! Cuz Herbie is not my boyfriend anymore and it was daytime anyway! Im not making out on the hill with an audience! lol But it was sad. Herbie didnt say anything I think maybe he wanted to make out! I really think he wishes I was still his girlfriend. I dont know. I havent even dated anybody but Deno. I have to date somebody else or why am I free? Cuz I really do like Herbie. His birthday is in three weeks hell be 18! I really should see him for his birthday. Becky, Beth, Linda, and I used the jacuzzi later cuz it was cool enough. I really dont like skinnydipping on my period even though u can do it with a tampon. But it was fun it was just like it used to be when I still lived here. I dont mean at Beckys of course I mean at my old house. I really miss my old high school. I should see my old friends more! I was only there my freshman year but I knew everybody for years. I wish I could graduate there. Of course I really like my high school so dont think that! If I hadnt moved I never would have met Mindy or Germana, or Ella or Carol or Deno or a lot of ppl. But I still miss my old friends. later Now theres been a terrible earthquake! What is happening? Its like disasters r happening everywhere now! I really want to help but I cant help everybody! Sunday October 9 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I spent most of today at my cuzins house which meant I could finally do homework! lol My cuzins all went to church but Daddy doesnt go so I stayed and spent the morning with Daddy. Really it was sweet. He told me about work and of course Nolan works there too. He likes it ok but I think he liked the place he and Nolan used to work a few years ago. They both quit cuz they got a new boss who was a real a**hole. I didnt even tell Daddy that Mommys dating the guy who works at the motel. Its like why? It will just get Daddy upset and then he wont talk to anybody for a while. Daddy asked me a lot about school of course he really just wants to know about my grades. Oh and if Im dating anybody. I told him about Deno a little but said hes not my boyfriend. This was funny cuz Daddy said I really dont need a boyfriend now. And I was like I had a boyfriend when I was 14! lol Of course Daddy doesnt know that. He thought I just went to Jules house cuz I was babysitting his little brother Randy and thats what Jules parents thought too. We werent supposed to be dating anybody. Daddy cant ground me anymore but still. Ill never tell Daddy about what I did with Jules. It would just hurt him. I think sometimes ppl tell other ppl things and say they want to be honest so theyll let them know what happened. But sometimes I think they just do it to hurt them. Its like “this is what I got away with and you didnt even know.” But other times u should share especially if u have a boyfriend or a husband. Its like if u have an affair I think u should tell them. Ive never had an affair and I never will. But I think if u do u should be honest about it. But thats not the same as telling ur parents. Theres no reason to tell ur parents something that would hurt them if theres nothing they can do about it. Monday October 10 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I know its weird to say I have a problem when they just had the earthquake and so many ppl died and lost their homes. They dont even know how many they keep saying its more. But Im donating money to help and really thats all I can do. I cant fly there and rescue ppl! I wish I could. I wish things like this didnt happen. But all we can do is do what we can to help. Ok I know its not big but I have a problem. Germanas family is having a Halloween party and its October 29. Thats the same day as the nudist Halloween party! How can I do both? And Herbies birthday is the day after! And Cassies wild b-day party is this Saturday which is the same day as Pippys b-day party. How can everything be on the same days? later Germana doesnt know what to do either! She wants to be at her families party and she wants to go to the nudist party! But we figured a way it might work at least for me. The nudist party starts earlier cuz a lot of ppl will get there early to do bodypainting. So its really starting in the afternoon. So we can go to it first and then come back and go to Germanas party! I dont know if Germana can do both cuz she has to help work on the party at her crib but she said thats ok. Shes with me here now so Ill have to finish this later cuz she doesnt like watching me write my diary. And Austra could come back in anyway. later I had fun at Germanas! But u wont believe what she asked me! I know shell read this of course but thats ok. She said she doesnt care if I write it. But Ill tell u what else happened first. We decided to stay in Germanas and Austras room and Austra stayed there with us! Usually its just Germana and me but we thought it would be fun to do it with Austra this time. Shes really mature even though shes only 10. We talked about a lot of things. Austra said she thinks America doesnt have much morals and of course shes very moralistic. Then Germana said what about Europe and Austra said she didnt think they did either. Germana said the Catholic church would be better if they finally accepted Mary as the Goddess and I think so too. And she wants them to have woman as priestesses cuz thats what she wants to be. But I think Austra will be a Wiccan priestess some day but she might be a nun too. I dont know if u can be both but if u can Austra will find a way! I wanted to give Germana her present but I didnt want to do it with Austra there cuz I didnt get her anything. So I just said it was an early Christmas present and Id have one later for Austra so that was ok. I gave Germana this book about Jean Harlow! Of course shes her favorite actress. She was in black and white movies and died b4 World War II when she was really young. The book is like 40 years old and I found it in the antique store! Theres a lot of junk there but sometimes u can find some really kewl stuff. Ok Ill tell u what Germana asked me. It was when we were skinnydipping alone in the hot tub. We talked about a lot of things and then she talked about how Mindy sometimes suckles me. But thats when we cuddle together and its a sharing thing its not a sex thing. Mindy was my daughter in a past life its part of our soul bond. Cuz in a past life I nursed my precious Tinkie she was my baby! But Germana asked me if I ever thought about sucking on a girls breasts! And she didnt mean somebody I was soulbonded to! Ok I have to explain cuz like I said Germana is one of my best friends and of course she reads this cuz all my best friends do. Its kewl cuz now even Laura can read my diary! She couldnt use the Internet or have email cuz her Daddy didnt want her to cuz he thought she might meet some pervert or something. But hes finally letting her do it. He doesnt know she had sex when she was 14! Its like u dont have to use the Internet to have sex! LMAO Anyway I told Germana that I wasnt ready to do something like that with anybody not even a best friend. Cuz it would definitely be a sex thing! Im straight even though sometimes I think about girls but thats just a fantasy thing. Really its weird that Germana wants to go to the nudist party cuz she said she thinks of being naked with ppl as being about sex. A lot of ppl do but its not. Germana went on the World Nude Bike Ride but really she should go to a regular nudist beach so she could see what its like. Its all about being free and natural its not about sex. It is so weird. Its like when Mindy suckles me its natural and its a part of love and sharing. But if I did it with somebody else it would be sex! Its like how can the same thing be sex one time and not another time? And then when Cassie and Lindsey had their all girl sleepovers it was about sharing and being natural and it was about sex! They were all mixed together! I dont know but its weird. Its like being affectionate and close and cuddling are definitely not about sex. But sometimes they r! So what if ur doing something like that and one person is thinking about sex and the other one is just thinking about sharing and cuddling? later Ok I think I figured it out. The only way u can know what the other person is thinking is to talk about it! Duh! I guess thats why its so important to talk about things. Its like if I didnt know Germana would be thinking about sex I might think she just wanted to be close and share a bond between best friends. And its even like with Deno cuz I had to explain to him that even though I went out with him it was just as friends. And we did go on a regular date but I had to explain that didnt mean he was my boyfriend even though I French kissed him. U can French kiss ppl and its just for the date or its part of a game it doesnt always mean anything. The only way to know what someone is thinking about something is to talk about it. |
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| Jacuzzi with my girl friends |
| I have Germana Hallowen party and the nudist Halloween party on the same day! |
| I had fun with Germana and Austra! |
| Mindys got a date for homecoming! |
| Its weird being on a double date with ur ex boyfriend! |
| disasters r happening everywhere now! |
| When should u share ur secrets? |
| The Catholic church would be better if they finally accepted Mary as the Goddess |
| Germana asked me if I thought about what? |
| Theres some things I am not ready to do! |
| The only way u can know what the other person is thinking is to talk about it! |
| Whassup with Becky? |