| OcToBeR 16 2005 |
| Sunday October 16 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS U will not believe what I FINALLY did today! And Becky and Cassie had a big surprise! First I went to Catholic Church with my cuzins cuz Denise wanted me to go and she just had her birthday. Shes 30 now! If u dont know I was baptized Catholic even though I never go. I even have Godparents but I never see them. Daddy didnt go but at least he went out to eat with us. Denises birthday was really Friday but we went out today so I could go which was kewl. But I wished Mommy and Matthew went with us! There r so many birthdays this time of year! Susie whos Ellas stepsister just turned 12, and Grandma has her birthday same day as Denise which is why they have the same name, and Allen and Pippy just had theres, and Lena who is Herbies mom had hers today. I really should call Allen and wish him happy birthday I guess Ill call him tomorrow. I talked to everybody else or sent them something. Anyway then I talked to Becky and we went back to Cassies cuz she said Cassie had something to talk to me about. Really I wanted to talk to Cassie anyway cuz I was a little upset about the bang. Cassie and Micky were both there when we got there and their crib was still a mess from the party. I guess a couple ppl had just left cuz some ppl spent the night. So Becky and I helped them clean up. So then finally I asked Cassie “how could the webcam be on in the bathroom when ppl were in there?” And she said “everybody knows we have webcams we even have a sign up.” Cuz they got a sign u can see as soon as u open the front door if ur looking for it. And I was like “but u told everybody the bathroom cam would be off!” And Cassie acted like she didnt even care! But then Micky said “Cassies just joshing you. Nelson and Feliza asked me to turn it on.” So then I was like Cassie! Oh and Feliza and Nelson werent having sex like I thought. She was just giving him head. But still it was in the bathroom on webcam! But if they wanted it on then thats ok. Anyway Cassie wanted to show me part of her new movie cuz I missed it at the party. Micky said shed seen it a million times and she had to go anyway. Really I like porno movies ok but a lot of them r the same. But this one had something different! Cassies never in a whole movie they have different scenes with different ppl. This scene had two couples with two girls and two guys. I didnt know any of them but Cassie but Ive seen her with the other girl b4 and I think Ive seen one of the guys. But heres the part that was a total surprise! Cassie said really pay attention. In this one part this guy is doing tasties on the other girl. So u cant see anybodys face cept his. So I was like what am I supposed to pay attention to? But u can hear ppl cuz all four of them r doing something at the same time. But then I heard a girl moan and it sounded familiar. And it didnt sound like Cassie or the other girl. So then Cassie played that part back again. And I was like OMG! Cuz I knew who it was who moaned. It was Becky! And I was like Becky! But she just laughed and Cassie did too. And I was like “but Becky wasnt even in the movie!” Then Becky said “but Crystal was!” But I watched the whole thing again even when u couldnt see faces. But I know what Becky looks like cuz I see her naked all the time and she straight up wasnt in the movie. Even without her face I would recognize her body. But u could hear her! So then Cassie said Becky went to the taping and they let her moan! Cuz u couldnt see who was moaning anyway. But I was like if they find out shes only 17 shell be in major trouble! But shes got the perfect fake ID so everyone believes shes 21. She even has a credit card and of course she goes to bars. Cassie said I could get an ID too but Ill just wait til Im 18. If I want to watch a taping Ill do it when its legal! So then Cassie said they had something else to show me. And guess what it was? It was another dildo! And I was like they already gave me two dildos and I couldnt get either one inside me! The first one was too big its 12 inches and its really big around. And the second ones only 6 inches and its not very big its just like a regular penis. But I cant get it in either! But then Cassie said this one was different. Cuz this one was made out of purple glass! And I was like glass? I said I straight up am not sticking something made out of glass inside of me. Like no way! But Becky said “way!” But Cassie said its hardened glass she said its stronger than rubber. Becky said u could hit it with a hammer and it wouldnt break. And they showed me the instructions and its totally safe. Its really not glass its like metal only its clear and doesnt get cold like metal. I think its called pyrex. So theres like no way it could break if ur using it downstairs. But I was like thanx but I really dont think this is going to help me. But then Cassie said she could help me! Then this was weird. Cuz I only thought about having one of my best friends help me break my cherry. If u dont know that can mean losing ur virginity but it can also mean breaking ur hymen. I wasnt ready to lose my virginity but I wanted to be ready for when I was. And if I couldnt get anything inside me then Id be a virgin forever! But I never thought of Cassie. Shes a really good friend and cuz she makes the movies shes a professional! So she totally knows what shes doing and I knew shed be totally comfortable doing it. Cuz none of my best friends would do it cept Germana and she really didnt want to. So then I was like why didnt I think of Cassie b4? Duh! I didnt decide right away cuz I was nervous. I said I wanted to think about it. But then Becky said whats to think about? Uve been trying to do it for a year! And she said I wanted help and Cassie was perfect and really she was. So I cant believe I said this cuz I always take forever to decide anything. But I said yes! Oh Cassie told me nobody had used the dildo b4. Cuz she knew I straight up am not sticking something inside me downstairs thats been in somebody else! The dildo was Cassies but she hadnt used it yet. She gets lots of free stuff cuz she makes the movies. I believed her of course but I still washed it. Cassie wanted me to do it on webcam and I was like no way! Ppl already saw them showing me the dildo I didnt need anybody watching me use it! She even said they could turn off the cam but just tape it so I could watch it later. But really I didnt want to do that. Its like if somethings on tape u never know whos going to see it! So I had to get ready. Cassie thought watching her movies would get me excited and sometimes they do. But really I like romantic movies better. I like the sex but I like it if it has a story and Cassies r just f**king and s**king. So then Becky said she knew what would help. So we put clean sheets on Cassies bed and sat in a circle on her bed. Beckys period was late but its unpredictable. She takes care of herself even when shes using a tampon but thank Goddess she didnt have to do that. Cuz what happened later wouldnt have worked if she was on her period. Ive taken care of myself when I had a tampon b4 but I really dont like doing it when Im on my period. Anyway we all undressed for each other and did like this striptease which was fun. Then Becky sat on the bed on my left and Cassie sat on my right. And we started taking care of ourselves! I really like doing sharies its a special kind of sharing. Cassies a really good friend and Beckys one of my best friends. And of course weve masterbated together for years. So I got myself really excited! But Cassie said dont cum cuz thats a mistake I made b4. I tried to get a dildo in me right as I was coming but when ur doing that u contract. I already described everybody in Descriptions. But Johnnie made me promise to describe what everybody looked like next time I did something naked with my friends so I will. But dont expect me to do it again! lol Becky is 17 1/2 and 5 ft 4 in. She has light tanned skinned and a really nice body with B+ sized breasts and pink nipples. She has blue eyes and shoulder length red hair cuz she dyed it. Really its blonde. U can tell cuz she has a thin strip of thick dark blonde hair u know where! lol I dont remember how many earrings she wore but I remember she had a small gold hoop in her belly button. She also has three tatoos. Two are really small and r yellow and black. One is a Pentagram on the very top of her right thigh and the other is a Yin Yang symbol on the very top of her left thigh. The newest one is a tatoo right above her butt that says “Daddy’s Baby.” Cassie is 18 but shell be 19 in like three days. Shes about the same height as me and has C or D cup breasts with pink nipples. Her boobs r right in between sizes. Shes not thin but shes not fat she has a nice round figure. Right now her hair is light blonde and flows over her shoulders but its really light brunette. She changes the color all the time. She has green eyes but she was wearing aqua contacts. Her lap hair is brown and shaved on the sides. Ok Ill tell u what I look like. So if u dont want to know close ur eyes! LMAO Im 5 ft. 7 1/2 inches with tan skin. My eyes are deep brown and so is my hair which is long and straight with straight cut bangs. My breasts r small they barely fill an A cup and my nipples r sandstone colored. My butt is a little big but so is my heart! lol And if u really must know I have a strip of dark brown lap hair. Oh and Cassies sheets r azure so u know what color we were sitting on! lol and of course mine was purple cuz thats my favorite color. Its really Cassies but she hadnt used it yet. She has a lot of dildos and vibrators and other sex toys they fill a whole drawer! Anyway Cassie and Becky stuck theres in right away but I didnt. I said I needed to rub myself some more. Cassie had some lubricant she uses in the movies but I wanted to use Corn Huskers. It feels like real lubrication like when ur ovulating. Oh and this is funny but I think I was ovulating. Its good that dildo wasnt a real penis cuz it wasnt wearing a condom! lol So then they were like arent u ready yet? So finally I said I was. But I was really nervous! So then Cassie said the best way was for me to hold the dildo at the base with it sitting on the bed. Then I could move over it and just sit on it! But I said I couldnt get it in by myself I need help! So then Cassie said shed hold it for me so she did. And I was like be gentle! She sat in front of me and just held it. So I tried lowering myself on it really slowly. But I couldnt keep my balance! And I was like I straight up dont want to fall on that thing! So then Becky got behind me on the bed and held my waist so I could keep my balance. But it felt really weird. And it didnt go in! So then Cassie wanted to check me to see if I was opened up enough. And I was like how r u going to check that Cassie? But she just bent down and took her finger and stuck it right up inside me! It was so weird! I never had another girl stick her finger inside me downstairs b4. But it was like being examined by a doctor or something. So I started calling her Dr. Cassie! lol Anyway she said my opening was barely big enough to get her finger in but I was totally opened up inside. She started rubbing me in there and at first it was like an exam. But then it started feeling good and that was not what I wanted! And I was like Cassie! I am not ready to have somebody masterbate me! But she said she wasnt she was just making sure I was ready. Really she acted totally professional. Of course shes touched a lot of girls and doing sex things is her job so shes used to it. But I wasnt! But then Becky said “I want to stick my finger in there too!” And I was like no way! Cuz I know Becky would try to masterbate me I know Becky! U cant trust that girl! LMAO j/k So then Cassie said “the only thing to do is break that cherry.” I really wanted to just sit down on the dildo so I could get it over with. But I just couldnt do it! A rubber dildo bends a little so u can move it around. But a glass one doesnt bend at all! But Cassie said thats why were using it cuz it wont stop at the hymen. But I was not feeling comfortable! So then Cassie said when somebodys not feeling comfortable when theyre making a movie they take a break. So thats what I did. I was really glad Cassie was helping me cuz she knew what to do. But I was still nervous! So then Cassie said we could try something else. So she had me lay down on my back on the bed with my head on a pillow. Then I had to bend my knees and spread my legs really far and put my feet flat on the bed. I said it feels like Im going to have a baby! LMAO But Cassie said thats why I was in that position cuz that was the best way for me to totally open up downstairs. So then Cassie put more Corn Huskers in me to get me totally lubricated. I was going to put a towel underneath me but she said dont worry about it cuz shed wash the sheets anyway. Really I think Micky does all the washing. Anyway then she took the purple glass dildo and asked me if I was ready. And I was like no! So then I rubbed myself some more and I tried to think of some really sexy things so I thought of one of my favorite fantasies. But I still didnt feel ready! Then Becky said she was bored cuz she wasnt doing anything and she was tired of masterbating herself. But then Cassie had this cool idea. She said why didnt I lay my head on Beckys tummy! And Becky thought it was cool too. So thats what I did. Becky even held my head and then she bent down and gave me a little kissie. It was so sweet! So I said “Becky ur a great friend and a great pillow!” lol It was cool cuz everybody was joking. It made me feel a lot more comfortable and of course Im trying to joke more when things r serious. And this was definitely serious! So I was lying on my back with my head on Beckys tummy really close to her lap. I was glad her period hadnt started yet! I had my knees bent and my legs spread with my feet flat on the bed just like I did b4. And Cassie was kneeling on the bed in front of me with the dildo. And of course were all totally naked. Then Cassie said “Are u sure u dont want to tape this?” And I was like “no way!” So then Cassie said “ready?” And I said “not yet.” So I rubbed myself some more and really thought about my fantasy. And then Cassie put even more Corn Huskers in me so I was dripping all over the place! lol And Becky was holding my head. So I invoked the God and Goddess really quickly cuz I wanted it to work! So then finally I said “ready!” And I was really nervous I got really tense. And Cassie said “youll make it harder if ur tense!” So I said “ok Dr. Cassie!” lol I tried to relax and focus on my breathing. I never did it in that position b4 so it was weird. But it helped! So I rubbed myself some more and then said “ready!” So then I just waited. Then Cassie said “here it comes!” And she pushed really hard and it hurt! And I was like “ouch!” Then Becky said did it go in? But Cassie said “not quite. Her hymen is really thick.” And I was like Duh! Cuz thats why I needed help! So then I said “I guess its not going to work.” But Cassie said “it will work.” She said it was thick but not too thick. She said I didnt need any surgery to open it up I just needed a harder push. So she said “ready?” And I breathed in and out slowly and deep. And then I said “ready!” And this time she pushed really hard! Its like the hardest Ive ever been pushed downstairs! I could feel her pushing hard and then suddenly it felt like something moved. And it hurt! But then Becky said “is it in?” And Cassie said “its in.” And I was like Yes! I finally got a dildo inside me. Cassie broke my cherry! And then Becky said “Oh God Lorien. You got to be horny now I am!” But Im sorry but really I wasnt! I know like in porno stories when the girls a virgin it hurts when somebody breaks her hymen. But then in like ten seconds she gets really horny and cums like six times or something. But I did not feel like coming! It felt really weird like the dildo was crammed in there! Cassie said it was really tight and it felt like it. I thought it was in all the way but Cassie said it wasnt so I looked. I only had about half of it in. It was really weird seeing this long purple thing sticking out of me! lol And it still hurt downstairs and really I was getting sore anyway from all the rubbing. The lubrication really helped but still. U can only rub urself so much! Then I asked Cassie “Am I bleeding?” Cuz really I couldnt see down there very well. But she said just a little. She said it was a lot less than a period. I wanted to clean myself up but she said shed wipe me off. Cassie said I should leave the dildo in there a little so my hole would stay open. Then she said sometimes the hymen grows back! And I was like it better not grow back I straight up dont want to do this again! So I left the dildo in there. Then Becky started rubbing my head and then I felt one of her hands moving down her belly. And I was like “Becky dont masterbate urself when my head is on ur lap!” LMAO Silly girl. So anyway she gave me a pillow for my head and then she and Cassie both masterbated. Then they started kissing each other! And I was like “u can do that later Im ur patient remember?” lol Finally Cassie said Id left it in long enough which was good cuz I was really getting sore. Becky wanted us to all take a shower together but really I wanted to just shower by myself. So thats what I did. But of course I totally thanked Cassie and Becky! I am so glad my hymen is finally broken. I still want to be a virgin. But now when I decide to have sex Ill be ready! |
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| I wasnt ready to lose my virginity but I wanted to be ready for when I was. |
| Cassie wanted me to do it on webcam and I was like no way! |
| Becky said Cassie had something she wanted to talk to me about. U wont believe what it was! |
| “How could the webcam be on in the bathroom when ppl were in there?” |
| Somebody moaned in the XXX movie and I knew who it was! |
| The dildo was made out of purple glass! |
| We did this striptease for each other and that was fun |
| It didnt go in! |
| Ok Ill tell u what I look like. |
| Cassie and Becky stuck theres in right away but I didnt. |
| So then Cassie put more Corn Huskers in me to get me totally lubricated. |
| So I rubbed myself some more and then said “ready!” |
| There r so many birthdays this time of year! |
| Dont expect me to describe what we all look like naked again! lol |
| Cassie broke my cherry! |
| Then they started kissing each other. |