| DeCeMbEr 1 - 7 2005 |
| Thursday December 1 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I have a lot to think about! First Im nervous about Saturday. I have my SAT test so I hope I get good scores! Im not really worried about the English and Writing parts but I am about the Math. The colleges I applied to dont need really high math scores but still. If u have better scores it can help u get in. Maybe I should have taken the course that helps u score higher I dont know. But it costs a lot and I dont make much money. And then Im thinking about what happened with Becky and Germana and me. Germanas been giving me hints that she wants to do more with me! Of course she reads this but she knows! lol I liked what we did cuz I wanted to know what another girl felt like. Im not lesbian and Im not really bi I was just curious. But now I did it so I really dont know if I want to do it again. Some things u only want to do once. Theres another thing I want to try with another girl someday but Im not ready to do that yet. And Im not going to write it so dont ask! lol And then we have our esbat tonight for the new moon and I dont know what well decide about being our own coven. I would like to be but I dont want to break with my old one. But its really not a break cuz wed still be sister covens. later I have some news! Nobody in my branch has a problem with us being our own coven! If u dont know that means Goldina, Mindy, Ella, Carol and me. Germana and Wendi dont have a prob with it either. They arent full members yet but they will be! We have to set a date for their initiation. Kayla thinks its ok too. And guess who else came? Miss Sasha! If we become our own coven shell be with us! Really thats the best part. If u dont know shes Herbies grandma and shes also a famous Wiccan author. Goldina said they still havent heard from everybody in my coven but we should know maybe tomorrow. I guess theyre talking about it tonight. My branch doesnt usually have an esbat for the new moon but we did this time cuz we had a lot to decide! Friday December 2 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I cant believe this semesters almost over. We just got two more weeks! And I have the SAT test tomorrow. I heard they have it so that u can know ur results right away but thats not the version Im taking. I wish I didnt have to take it when Im on my period. Germana and Wendi r exciting about becoming initiates especially Wendi! Thats kewl. Germanas excited too but she doesnt act it. I havent heard if my coven will accept my branch being our coven or not but we should know soon. Ppl r already making plans for winter break but I dont have any. Germana and Austra r going to Europe with her family, Denos spending it with his grandparents, Mindys family is going to see her Aunt Hanah after Christmas I think. I dont think Carols going anywhere cept just for a day, and Im not sure what Ellas going to do. Shes all excited about something but she wont tell me! lol But I dont know what Im doing. Im spending Christmas with Mommy and Matthew and everybody here but thats it. I hope Benny and Brandy can come. They wanted to be here for Thanksgiving but they couldnt. Ok I have to study for the stupid test! Saturday December 3 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I FINALLY finished those SAT tests! They took forever! There was English, Writing and Math but dont worry I wont write about tests all day! lol I think I did good on the English and Writing but Im not sure about the Math. Really I dont have to do real well but I hope I didnt do too bad! Im glad I took the PSAT last year though cuz otherwise I think I would have missed more of the questions. I dont even feel like writing any more I am too tired from studying last night and then taking the tests! later Guess what I found out? My coven accepted my branch becoming our own coven! Yay! That means Ill be a leader of a coven! Of course Im not High Priestess thats Goldina but still Ill be the only Priestess. And its cool that well have Miss Sasha! Shes been Wiccan for years since b4 it was popular. But she hasnt been in a coven for a long time. She said she felt led to start a group with young ppl and were it! Except for Goldina whos 50 all the rest of us are teenagers. I think she wants an older High Priest but everybody else will be young. She said too many covens insist that all members be 18 and thats not a good way to teach the young. Ill miss my old coven but really I hardly go to any of their ceremonies. I moved two years ago so its almost like I havent been a full member anyway. I am but not really. I dont know how to explain it. But anyway our new coven is kewl with everybody! I dont know when our official date will be we have to decide with my old coven. Sunday December 4 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I am still getting emails and advice about what happened with Becky and Germana and me! lol Im writing this at Mindys but its ok it doesnt bother her anymore. Two ppl said when they read what I wrote it got them so excited they had to take care of themselves! lol And u can guess ppl have been sending me more photos. ;) Oh and some ppl want to know did we do it on webcam and is it recorded? No we did not do it on webcam we didnt even have a computer that worked! lol But thats not the part I want to talk about. I want to tell u the advice I got. Dena and Rocky both said I have to decide if what I did was just an experiment or if its something I want to do again. Dena said she thinks its something I want to repeat! She said I wouldnt keep writing about it unless I did. She thinks Im just feeling afraid to do it again but I dont know. Rocky says if I do it with Becky and Germana again then it could change our relationship and it might make things worse! He said I should find somebody else to experiment with next time and its better if its somebody I dont even know very well. But I was like where can I meet somebody like that? He said at college but I dont know very many ppl at college I just go to class and then go home. But really Im not ready to do anything more now anyway. Instead Im focusing on spending more time with my other friends. I love Mindy and Germana but now that were becoming our own coven I really should spend more time with our other members too. I just spent a few days with Germana so she understands that Ill spend the night with Ella tomorrow. I have to share myself! LMAO j/k Monday December 5 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Guess what Ella told me? Johnnie is coming to see her again and he wants to see me too! Really Id like to see him. I feel bad that I didnt last time he came but it didnt work out. But guess when hes coming? Saturday! I was like Ella why didnt u tell me earlier? Cuz shes known for a week! And Johnnie even wanted her to tell me! But she said she was afraid Id be upset or something. I guess thats cuz I told her to be really careful last time. But shes already met him so I told her theres no prob. And really its kewl. I take forever to make decisions and sometimes Im too careful! U can miss out on a lot if u r. Sometimes I think Ella should be a little more careful but Im sure Johnnies safe! Ive known him online for like two years! And Wendis going to see him with us too. Of course hes been emailing all three of us. So this should be kewl! Oh and if u must know Ella and I did not do any sexy things together! lol I dont like doing sharies when Im on my period anyway. We just watched TV and chatted. Tuesday December 6 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Im sorry Johnnie cuz I know what I wrote and I know ull read this. But now Im feeling nervous! I havent met anybody that I only knew online cept Harmony and I knew him four years! And I talked to Mindy cuz Johnnie knows about her too. But she said shes totally too embarrassed to meet anybody cuz of what I wrote about her in my diary. And then I was like but I write extremely personal and embarrassing stuff about me in my diary too! So how can I meet anybody? So now Im like what do I do? This is to Johnnie but I want everybody to read it so they can help me decide what to do. I really want to meet u Johnnie ur cool and I like ur photo and story collections and ur a great writer. But Im embarrassed about what I write about me! Cuz u know really intimate things that I dont share with anyone I know IRL cept my best friends. Ok maybe this sounds stupid! I never write personal messages in my diary. I dont know what Im doing! lol later Guess what Charlotte told me? Theyre moving back to the apartments! Yay! Thats kewl cuz it will make babysitting Kim and Rodney a lot easier. Even if Im late it wont be a prob cuz Mrs. Opland can watch them til I get there. And I wont be late anyway cuz theyll live next door to Mindys which is really close to where I live. Those r the apartments my family and I used to live in. I dont even know the ppl who live in our old apartment maybe now Ill meet them. Charlotte and the kids r moving back next weekend so Im going to help them move and Mindy might too. Wednesday December 7 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Kimberly got in big trouble today at school for getting in a fight! It was with Joey. I was like whats wrong with that girl? Shes started acting really mature after she had her menarche, then she started acting like a brat, then she acted mature, and now she got in a fight! I think she needs counseling. I try talking to her and it seems to help but then she has a problem again. I think Ill take psychology again next semester so maybe I can figure out something to do to help. I really like doing peer counseling even though I cant write about it. But I want to do more. I think I might major in Psychology in college. Oh and I got messed up when Johnnies coming to visit. It isnt this weekend its next weekend. Really thats better cuz then I can help Charlotte and Kim and Rodney move. It will be better for them to have their own apartment again cuz its too crowded right now. And also somebody said our semester ends in January not in a week! Doh! |
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| My coven accepted my branch becoming our own coven! |
| Dena and Rocky both said I have to decide if what I did was just an experiment or if its something I want to do again. |
| Im thinking about what happened with Becky and Gemana and me. |
| Nobody in my branch has a problem with us being our own coven! |
| Ppl r already making plans for winter break but I dont have any. |
| I FINALLY finished those SAT tests! |
| Im focusing on spending more time with my other friends. |
| I havent met anybody that I only knew online cept Harmony and I knew him four years! |
| I think I might major in Psychology in college. |
| So now Im like what do I do? |
| Charlotte and the kids r moving back next weekend. |
| Im nervous about my SAT test Saturday. |
| Johnnie is coming to see her again and he wants to see me too! |