| DeCeMbEr 30 - 31 2005 |
| Friday December 30 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I got to see Laura again so thats kewl. We really didnt get to do much but at least I got to see her b4 she goes back. I really miss her! I wasnt even ready to go when Benny and Brandy picked me up! They had to wait for me to get ready which usually doesnt happen. But they said that was ok. They got to see Mommy and Matthew a lot so thats good. And of course Page, Perry, Aunt Ebee and Uncle Frankie. Becky didnt go to the timeshare with us cuz she wants to be with Hunter for New Years and Aunt Lizzie couldnt go either. So its just Uncle Oz, Benny, Brandy, and me. I miss my friends of course but its kewl cuz that the four of us can be together. We used to go places together and we havent done that in like forever. Uncle Oz friend Nataline is coming tomorrow so shes spending the night with us. I met her b4 and shes cool. Ok let me tell u about where were staying! We arent in Palm Springs but were close and its warm! I just hope we dont have a problem with rain cuz its raining everywhere. Its a nice house. Its one story and has three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Theres a living room, den, kitchen and a little room thats for laundry. Theres a swimming pool but we cant use it which sucks. I guess they closed it for winter. Theres a TV in almost every room. It was funny cuz we turned all the TVs on the same channel and then wandered around the house. So we could watch TV wherever we went! lol Oh and theres a computer but the Internet isnt working I dont know why. Really that sucks cuz I wanted to chat and check my email but I cant. Benny said he thinks I can check it on my cell phone but I dont know how. He was going to show me things about his college online but at least I got the book. Oh we were talking about Mommy and Daddy and u straight up wont believe what Benny said. U have to remember that Uncle Oz is really Bennys father and Mommy is his mom. But Benny asked Uncle Oz what he thought about Mommy! I could not believe it! Uncle Oz just said he thought she was a neat person and he liked her. Oh then this was funny even though I acted mad. But Brandy said Benny was the best thing to come out of her! LMAO And then I said what about me and Matthew? But Uncle Oz said dont pay any attention cuz Brandy has to be biased cuz Bennys her husband. lol Anyway then I thought about it. What about Mommy and Uncle Oz? Its weird cuz of course they were together b4 or Benny wouldnt be here. But they havent dated since Mommy was like 16 cuz thats when she got married to Travis. Shes 40 now so thats a long time ago! I want Mommy to get together with Daddy again of course. But if she didnt who would I want her to be with? Really I cant even think about her being with anybody but Daddy. But Id like her to be with Uncle Oz a lot more than with Abbie. It might be groovy! lol Then I told them about Herbie and how confused I was. And I got totally different advise! I thought Brandy would tell me to date other guys cuz thats what she used to do. She used to date a lot. But she said why dont I think about getting back together with Herbie? She said if I havent really dated anybody cept one guy and Im not really interested in him then whats the point of being single? But then Benny said I was too young to settle down so I should date more guys. I asked Uncle Oz but he just said it was up to me! So whose advise do I follow? Of course I know its my decision. But its hard! But really I dont have any other guys I want to date. I have to decide what Im going to do about Herbie. Am I ready to be his girlfriend again or am I going to date other guys? But if I really wanted to date other guys then why arent I doing it? And why am I thinking about Herbie all the time? But I want to be free. But free to do what? Anyway we finally went to bed. Uncle Oz slept in one room, Benny and Brandy shared a room, and I slept in my own room. But I couldnt get to sleep cuz I was thinking about everything! Saturday December 31 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Im thinking about what I want to do different in the new year. I havent even made a real New Years resolution yet and its the last day of the year! Im not volunteering like I was so I really need to do some volunteer work. I want to publish some of my poems but really I need help. But of course I wrote things that will be in our secret book! Im totally excited about that. I guess the book really isnt secret its just that Im helping write it is secret. I thought about telling everybody about it but I didnt. Its like with my diary. I want to share it with everybody but I cant cuz I write my secrets in it and even other ppls secrets. Of course thats cuz they say I can. later Ok Im writing my New Years resolution b4 the years over! lol Here it is. I rEsOlVe To Be ThE bEsT mE i CaN bE! later U straight up wont believe what I did New Years Eve! I did something I never did b4! I made a decision about something but Ill tell u later. Im writing this Sunday but this is what happened Saturday. Its fun being with Uncle Oz, Benny, and Brandy and I like Nataline too. Shes a nurse she works in the pediactric ward of a hospital which is the section for children. Shes Lutheran and I think the hospital might be too Im not sure. I told her about the staff that Flower and Tyrone made for Holden and she said that was sweet. Im glad he really liked it but I wish I could have given it to him in person. Everything with Ella has gotten weird now. Anyway Nataline likes dune buggies, France cuz shes been there, and being a nurse. She said the only thing she doesnt like is when a boy or girls screams. That would be so sad! She feels really bad for them and loud noises hurt her ears. Oh and she doesnt like giving shots to babies either cuz she cant tell them whats happening. She said I shouldnt worry too much about what college Im going to or what my major will be. Benny really likes his college of course, and Ive been to the college thats close to where I live. She said the one I applied to thats by the beach is a good college too. She told Brandy if shes not working and they can afford it she should work on her GED. Really I think Brandy should. She said she has to find a job cuz they need the money. I think the only reason they could come to see us was cuz Uncle Oz helped them. But Nataline said if she gets her GED she can make a lot more. Oh and Nataline said sometime when Uncle Oz is here I can ride dune buggies with her! Ive never done it and it sounds like fun. I really should do more things. All I do is go to high school and college, babysit and go to movies. Thats it! I tried something new at the party but Ill tell u about that later! First we went exploring! This is like the best time to see the desert cuz its not too hot. Really theres a lot of life in the desert more than I thought. And its not all just lizards and snakes and cactus either! Prarie dogs r really cute. And if u think it never rains in the desert ur wrong! Nataline said they can even get floods! Ok I want to tell u about the party. It was at this club thats really cool. Part of it is like a restaurant, part is like a dance club and part is like a house! I dont know how to describe it but its really kewl. Its like three different places all put together. Everybody had been there b4 but me. Most of the ppl there were older than me but u didnt have to be 18 or anything to go there. So I just chilled at first and then I danced with Benny which was fun. Brandy danced with this guy she didnt even know but Benny didnt mind. But then I noticed this one guy kept looking at me! Uncle Oz noticed too. He was really handsome too. But he was sitting with two girls who were both hotties so I didnt really think anything. I was like why would he be looking at me when he was sitting with them? He looked tall and had wavy brown hair parted on the side. I thought hes with somebody else anyway but still I smiled at him. Then he got up and started walking toward me! I felt excited but really I didnt know why. Then he asked me to dance! U know I love to dance. It was kewl cuz usually when guys ask u to dance they hardly say anything. But he talked a lot! His name is Bud and hes 21. I learned his name is really Arlo but ppl call him Bud. And guess who the girls were he was sitting with? His sister and her friend! His sisters name is Carmen shes 18 and a senior like me but shes finishing all her classes in January. Her friends Albie and shes 18 and a senior too. Bud has an older brother who just got married but I dont remember his name. Bud is studying Geology at college but he really wants to be a jeweler! I told him I like jewelry even though I dont have much bling bling. I said I really want to get more piercings at least in my ears. I only have one in each ear. Mindy and I were going to get more I dont know why we havent! Bud has two in each ear, one in his nose and another one but he wouldnt tell me where! lol Then later he asked me to dance again! Hes a good dancer too and he said I was a great dancer! I told him Ive taken dance classes a lot and he said he could tell. Then u wont believe what he asked me. He asked if I had a boyfriend! I told him I didnt. He said he didnt have a girlfriend either! Then it was funny cuz it got really quiet! lol Of course there was a lot of music playing but I mean we werent talking! He wanted to know if I wanted a drink but I told him I wasnt 21. But he thought I was! I told him I liked alcopop. Its weird too cuz I never wanted a fake ID but right then I did! lol I danced with Benny again which was fun. Uncle Oz said he was too tired to dance fast! lol I danced one slow dance with him which was sweet. Nobody else asked me to dance but I didnt care cuz Bud asked me again! And he really started flirting with me. Brandy thought he was just macking me but I didnt. Then Bud and I went to the part of the club that was like part of a house. Bud said it really was a house! But I think he was kidding. It was weird cuz this one part was like a living room with lots of couches and easy chairs. And a lot of ppl were flirting and making out! And I was like why did he want me to go there? Like what was he thinking? But guess what he did? He ordered a Seven Up and a hard lemonade. But then he took the Seven Up and gave me the lemonade! Isnt that kewl? But dont tell! lol I drank a rum and coke later which was ok but I like alcopop better. Dont worry I wasnt the designated driver! lol But then he said he didnt want to ignore his sister and her friend. I thought I would see them more too but he asked me if I was going to still be there at midnight? I told him I was. Then he got my email and I got his even though I said I would still be there at midnight. Then this was really stupid but I almost told him about my website I mean the one where I have my diary! But thank Goddess I didnt! I dont know why cuz I never tell anybody about my diary that I meet IRL. Then he said look for him when it got close to midnight! So I was like ok! Really it was close then it was after 11. So of course I told everybody about him. Nataline said go for it! lol They said I should wait at least til 11:30 b4 I looked for him but it was hard to wait! I saw him and it was 11:32. I dont know why I remember the time but I do! He was with Albie but I didnt see Carmen. So I though maybe he doesnt want me to come over! Cuz he was sitting with her. But then he saw me and waved! So I talked to them for a little bit. Then he wanted to go back to the lounge! Thats the part thats like a living room. And guess what he got me? Another hard lemonade! I dont drink much so three drinks is a lot! We sat on this chair thats almost like a couch. Its burnt umber color and it curves with this little table in front. They did a count down for New Years and a lot of ppl had champagne. But thats ok cuz really I like alcopop better. But u wont believe what I was thinking. I thought I really want to kiss him at midnight! I really did! Then right b4 midnight he made a toast. He said “to Lorien and me in 2006.” He really did! And I was like what did he mean by that? So we drank our toast and then said Happy New Year! But then I smiled at him and he smiled at me. Then this is really weird but I started giggling! I never giggle so I felt stupid! But I couldnt stop. But then he started moving closer to me and I was like he wants to kiss me! And really I wanted to kiss him but I couldnt stop giggling! Then he kissed me but it was just on the cheek. And then I stopped giggling. Then I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Then we kissed on the lips. I bet u can guess what happened next. We kissed on the lips again. Only this time we started Frenching! It was totally hot! I dont even know who started it but I know hes a great kisser! Then we did cuddles a little which was really sweet. Then he started kissing me again! But then his sister Carmen came over and said lets bounce cuz I guess cuz they had someplace else to go. But guess what? Bud asked me if I wanted to go with them! Isnt that kewl? I almost said I could but I didnt. I said I had to go back to my uncles. Really its not Uncle Oz its a timeshare but thats what I said. But he gave me one more kiss! After he left I really wished I went with him! But really I guess its good that I didnt. I dont know where they were going and I couldnt remember how to get back to the timeshare anyway so I couldnt have given them directions. But I got his email and phone number. Brandy said I should have given him my cell phone number but I dont know. I dont give ppl my phone number unless I know them better cuz they might call u anytime. But I could have given it to Bud! Oh and this is really stupid. I gave him my email addy and I cant even do email! This sucks! later Why didnt I got with Bud? I could have got directions to the timeshare that was stupid! But I dont know. Maybe its good that I didnt. But when will I see him again? I have his phone number but how can I just call him? I wish I could email him. And I wish I gave him my phone number! That was soo STUPID! later Ok I dont want to end my diary for the year like that! We went back to the timeshare and Nataline came with us. That felt weird cuz usually when I see Uncle Oz hes with Aunt Lizzie. I know they arent really a couple but still. And Benny and Brandy were together of course. But I had to sleep by myself. Of course I usually do but still. I kept thinking about Bud! I dont know why cuz I just met him. Its the New Moon so u know what that means. So I didnt do anything just tried to sleep. Ok Ill wish u HaPpY nEw YeAr! |
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| I rEsOlVe To Be ThE bEsT mE i CaN bE! |
| Nataline is a pediactric nurse. |
| Its just Uncle Oz, Benny, Brandy, and me. |
| Let me tell u where Im staying. |
| I got totally different advise. |
| Im thinking about what I want to do different in the new year. |
| Nataline told Brandy she should work on her GED. |
| His name is Bud and hes 21. |
| Bud ordered me a hard lemonade. |
| Bud is studying Geology at college but he wants to be jeweler! |
| I danced! |
| I wanted him to kiss me but I couldnt stop giggling! |
| HaPpY nEw YeAr! |
| I got to see Laura again so thats kewl! |
| I have to tell u about the party. |