| JaNuArY 13 - 14 2006 |
| Friday January 13 2006 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Germana and Wendi still said they werent sure if they wanted to do a vigil or not and I said I have to know! Cuz thats tonight! So finally they both said they did. It means I cant go to the dance concert but thats ok. I know Mindy really wants to go so I told her thats ok. Really its good that one of us goes from our dance class and one of us helps with the vigil. Mindys an Initiate and Im a Priestess so really Im the one who should help with their vigil. But I still dont know where were doing it! Really I think my crib would be best cuz theres nobody else here. later We had the vigil which was good even though there was a problem later! Finally we decided to have the vigil at Wendis cuz that way her stepdad would be happy. Really I think he wants all our sleepovers to be there so he can keep an eye on her! She says he doesnt trust her which is totally unfair. My Daddy didnt trust me either but now that hes gone he has no choice! I had dinner with Wendi, Timothy whos her stepdad, Eileen whos her Mom, and Rob whos her older stepbrother he just turned 15. Germana came over later. Eileen is still apologizing about what happened at Wendis b-day party and it wasnt even her fault! And that was like six months ago! Of course the food at dinner was fine. They have a cool house its really old. It might even be made a historical landmark! Theres columns on the outside and it has an attic which is where Robs bedroom is. Nobody goes up there but Rob cuz its haunted! I dont know if it really is but thats what everybody says. Aunt Lizzie said she has a ghost in her barn too. I never really saw that either even though one time I almost thought I did. Heres the story of the ghost in Robs bedroom cuz I promised Dena I would write it. Its funny cuz its a little like Aunt Lizzies story but its a lot like the story Wendi and Ella wrote with Johnnie! Wendis house was built over a hundred years ago. There was a girl named Zena who lived there with her Mommy. Her Daddy died in an accident when they were building the house but I dont remember how. I think he fell. Anyway one day when Zena was 10 she was in the attic with her cat. The cat climbed on the ledge outside the window. Zena was worried cuz he was howling and was afraid to come back in. So she climbed on the ledge to rescue him. But right as she got to him the ledge broke. Zena fell and died instantly. Rob said the cat was evil and did it on purpose. But Wendi thinks he just said that to tease her. She said the cat was really an apparition of Zenas father. Zenas mother was going to get married to a man who would abuse Zena. So the cat was actually calling to Zena to save her. Zena joined her real father in the afterlife and was very happy. Her mother and her mothers new husband sold the house and moved. The new husband never even lived there. Now Zena and her father both live as ghosts in the attic. Zenas father lets her do what she wants but hes very protective and wont let anybody come in the attic. He has a large gun with two barrells and will shoot anybody who tries. The only reason Rob can go in there is cuz Zena talked to him through his computer and they became good friends. Really I think a lot of the story is made up maybe all of it. I think Rob just doesnt want ppl going in his bedroom! lol But I dont know cuz Wendi said sometimes u can hear voices coming from the attic. And they dont sound like Rob. I really like Wendi shes a great friend. But she likes telling stories! lol Sometimes u dont know if what shes telling u is true or fiction cuz shes really convincing. I guess thats why she and Ella r really good at writing stories together. Of course Johnnie helps a lot. Ella said what they write is short and he writes most of it. But he said they write most of it and he just changes it a little. Wendi just says they write it together. So I dont know who does what. Im glad Mindy and I finally wrote a story together cuz I couldnt ever finish anything! That was the one we wrote for the book and of course I helped with essays too. Ok heres the part I got upset about. Wendi asked about my diary! I told Ella not to tell anybody. Thank Goddess Ella doesnt know I post it online she just knows I showed Johnnie part of it. But now I have to show Wendi part of it too! And Germana almost told her more about it Im glad she didnt! Really I dont like hiding my diary from my friends but I have to cuz a lot of things in it r private. Ok Im writing a lot and I havent even told u about the vigil! We didnt really do a lot. We had it in Wendis room cuz it was too cold to do it outside. We did a circle of course and lit some candles and had a clay bowl with water. We opened the window a little for some breeze even though it was chilly. That was for the four elements. We meditated and focused on our breathing and thought about the God and Goddess. Then we talked about what it means to be Wiccan. They wanted me to tell them about the initiation but I just told them a little. Really u should experience it for urself cuz thats what I did. But then I thought Germana probably already knows a lot cuz she reads my diary! But I guess its not a problem cuz a lot of Wiccans have initiations and theyre all different. And of course a lot of it they have to know. And really I didnt write everything that happens anyway. But theyre both ready they both know their responses! We practiced them a little more but I think theyll do fine. Saturday January 14 2006 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Today my branch becomes our own coven! Im excited but Im also a little sad. Cuz it means I wont be a member of my old coven anymore! U can only belong to one coven. I could be in my old coven and my branch but now I cant. But really its good. I moved like two years ago so I havent seen my coven very much anyway. And I can still go to some of their ceremonies! And of course they can come to some of ours. Were sister covens so were still joined. But part of my heart still feels sad. I wish we could be one big coven but I know we cant. I wanted to go back earlier cuz I could see my old school friends first. But were riding there together I think were taking three cars. I wish Austra, Deno, and Kayla could go but they cant. At least everybody in my branch will be there. later I have a new coven! We had the ceremony and really Im glad we did it. Im still really good friends with everybody in my old coven and guess what? They made me an associate member! Im not a full member but that means I can still come to their esbats when I want to! Isnt that kewl? We were going to have the ceremony outside where I joined my coven but it was too cold! So we did just a little of it outside and the rest we had at Aunt Evas. It was crowded but thats ok. Germana and Wendi took the ritual bath but of course I didnt help with that. But guess what? I can help initiate Austra! Isnt that kewl? Goldina said that will be part of my duty as a Priestess. Of course theres really not much to do cuz she does the bath by herself and the rest of it well do as a coven. But I can help prepare her and tell her what to do! Theres a special reason for it but Ill tell u later. It was really a beautiful ceremony. Everybody from my old coven was there too even though Aunt Eva wasnt feeling good. She didnt even tell anybody til after it was over. I cant tell u everything that happened cuz its private. But first we had a really short esbat for the full moon. That was everybody cept Aunt Eva, Miss Sasha, Germana, and Wendi cuz the Initiates were being prepared and doing their ritual bath. Next we were going to have the ceremony where my old coven would recognize my branch as a coven. Germana and Wendi were going to have to wait in separate rooms and meditate. But we decided that cuz my old coven believed they were ready too they could be there for the recognition of my branch as a coven even though they werent really initiates yet. Goldina said sometimes u have to ignore ur plans and improvise! lol It was funny cuz then Miss Sasha said the ways of the God and Goddess r sometimes unpredictable. They really meant the same thing but they said it in very different ways! The acceptance of my branch as a coven was short too cuz we had a lot to do! Germana and Wendi couldnt say or do anything while it happened. They could listen but they couldnt see anything cuz they had to wear the blindfolds. All that really happened was Ice Falcon and Eagle Flame talked about what it meant to be a coven. Of course we made a circle and invoked the God and Goddess first but I wont write everything! Then they asked each member if they would recognize my branch and we all said yes. Then they asked Miss Sasha and Goldina if they would accept the responsibility for leading a coven and of course they said yes. Then Ice Falcon and Eagle Flame talked about me. They said I had been a loyal member in spite of the distance cuz of course I live an hour away. Then they said they understood that I desired to be released from my committment to the coven. Then they asked me is that true? I was supposed to say yes but I could barely talk! I got choked up cuz I really started thinking about leaving! But I said yes even though I wish I could be in both covens. But I knew I couldnt be. I said I loved them both. I wasnt told to say that but it was from my heart. Then they asked me if I was sure I wanted to be released and I had to say yes. Then they asked each of the members of my coven if they would release me and they all said yes. It was sweet though cuz they said they didnt want to. Poor Herbie looked like he was going to cry! I wanted to hug him but I didnt til later. Becky didnt act as happy as she usually does either. I think she misses me but I also think its cuz theyre moving and she and Hunter broke up. They didnt really break up I guess its like a trial separation cuz they both want to date other ppl. I wish I could be with her more to help her. And I really miss being a part of my old coven! Anyway then the High Priest and High Priestess asked the members of my branch if they would accept me if they became a coven. Of course they all said they would. Usually it would be a coven first but this was different. Most covens dont have branches so there wasnt a standard ceremony we could follow. Then Miss Eva took Wendi while Germana had her initiation! Of course she accepted us and my branch accepted her and my old coven recognized her. Then we initiated Wendi and everybody accepted her. Then this part was different. Cuz my branch which is my new coven accepted Tamber as a priest and he accepted us. It was a lot like an initiation. But my old coven didnt say anything! I guess thats cuz hes not a first level initiate. Then we split! I dont know exactly what my old coven did but my new coven which was my branch had a short ceremony. We had a lot of ceremonies in one evening! We each dedicated ourselves to the God and Goddess and to each other, and we all accepted Goldina as our High Priestess and Miss Sasha as an Elder Priestess. Really we did that b4 but that was as a branch. And Tamber was accepted as a Priest and I was accepted as a Priestess! We accepted everyone at their level and we all signed an agreement that said we vowed to be true to each other. Heres something about Mindy and then I have to tell u about Austra! We were going to recognize Mindy as a full Wiccan after shes been an Initiate for a year and a day which is in a few days. Thats like my old coven does cept my old coven doesnt even accept u as an Initiate til ur an adult by nature. But we decided to do something different. We thought about calling her Low Priestess but we made it Lesser Priestess. She hasnt had her first period yet and neither has Wendi and they cant be Priestesses til they do. But at our next sabbat which is Imbolc Mindy will be a Lesser Priestess and Austra will be an Initiate! Ok heres the members of my new coven which used to be my branch: Elder Priestess Miss Sasha High Priestess Goldina Priestess Artariel (thats me) Priest Tamber Initiate Sennyoko (thats Mindy) Initiate Desmodia (thats Ella) Initiate Sealegs (thats Carol) Initiate Tanzera (thats Germana) Initiate Zwillina (thats Wendi) Ill post more about the ranks and how they work on my sites so look for it! But heres the other thing about Austra. I knew this b4 of course but I wasnt supposed to tell anybody til we became our own coven. Miss Sasha and Goldina said Austra and I r life bonded! Isnt that kewl? Its different than it is with Mindy and me. Mindy and I r soul bonded and were soulmates through the ages. Weve been friends and sisters and I was even her mother in a past life. Were linked in this life and in past lives and will be in future ones too. But Austra and I r linked in this life in a special way. Goldina said she first noticed when she read Austras palm that her life path looked like it corresponded with mine. She checked later and it did and I mean a lot! And Miss Sasha agrees were linked too. We dont know how it happened but this is what we think. When someone dies their spirit goes to the Summerlands. They think about their past life and what they learned from it. This prepares them to move on to their next life so they can use what they learned and grow where theyre weak. Miss Sasha and Goldina think that when Austra was in the Summerlands from her past life that she was looking for someone to help her grow in this one. Usually this is ur parents but really its different for different ppl. Sometimes theres someone u choose and then ur life paths will cross and work together. I dont know how to explain it cuz its really complicated and really we dont know exactly how it works. There r some mysteries that arent explained and that u wont understand. Sometimes they will be revealed in ur next life but not always. Anyway Austra chose me! We havent told her about it and they said I shouldnt tell her either cuz theyre going to talk to her. I had to make Germana promise not to tell her little sister and of course Germana promised. But it means that I have a lot of responsibility for Austra. Its weird how all the connections happened. I met Austra cuz I met Germana. But I met Germana cuz Aunt Lizzie told me about her. And I met Aunt Lizzie when Uncle Oz introduced me to her. So really me meeting Austra took years! Miss Sasha said its like a river. A river flows and changes direction. Until uve traveled the river u never know where its going to flow. All u know is someday it will meet the sea. Oh they also told me that when they tell Austra she might not know it already. They said she might not even believe it! Cuz u dont remember what happened in the Summerlands and really u usually dont remember ur past lives. Sometimes ull remember a little but not much. But I think Austra will know. I hope she does! Shes very organized and shes an old soul. Mindys older than me and Austra is older than Mindy. Austra is a really old soul but they said I cant tell her that and Germana cant either. They told me more but Im sorry Germana I cant write it here cuz u read this! They said sometimes its hard knowing and accepting things about ur own sister especially when shes younger than u. I guess I would feel weird if they told me Matthew was an older soul than me! lol later Everybody was going to go back cept me but Germana decided to stay with me and Becky. Becky really doesnt want to move. She doesnt act depressed but I could tell she wasnt happy. Kay wanted to move out cuz everything in their house reminds her of Leon. But thats why Becky doesnt want to move! Its like a part of her Daddy is in the house. I thought about the ghosts that live in the attic in Wendis house cuz thats a girl and her father. Theyre linked together forever but Becky wont see her Daddy til the next life. Becky says how do I know shell even see him then but I think she will. Becky and Germana and I skinnydipped in the cuzzi but Becky had to use a tampon. Its cool cuz Becky and Germana r really getting to be good friends. I mean really good cuz they cant keep their hands off each other! LMAO If Becky wasnt on her period who knows what they would have done? lol Really its good cuz Germana doesnt have a lot of friends. Shes always afraid ppl r going to leave her but I dont know why. |
| Copyright 2006 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| We talked about what it means to be Wiccan. |
| Today my branch becomes our own coven! |
| We had the vigil which was good even though there was a problem later! |
| Heres the story of the ghost in Robs bedroom. |
| I think a lot of the story is made up. But sometimes Wendi can hear voices coming from the attic. |
| We had the vigil in Wendis room. |
| Guess what? I can help initiate Austra! |
| Ice Falcon and Eagle Flame talked about what it meant to be a coven. |
| We had a lot of ceremonies in one evening! We each dedicated ourselves to the God and Goddess and to each other. |
| Then they said they understood that I desired to be released from my committment to the coven. |
| The High Priest and High Priestess asked the members of my branch if they would accept me if they became a coven. |
| Its weird how all the connections happened. |
| Im doing a vigil with Germana and Wendi tonight. |
| It was really a beautiful ceremony. |
| Austra is a really old soul but they said I cant tell her that and Germana cant either. |
| The ghosts of the girl and her father in Wendis attic r linked forever. |