23 Aug 2005 (Wednesday)
As seems to be the norm with anything involving Yvette, plans changed.
Frankly, I liked the spontaneity, especially as my “In Real Life” life is
usually quite routine now. The only problem is if it interferes with my seeing
my friends, but this time it didn’t. We had planned to have Clara’s birthday
party and dinner at Yvette’s because es place is larger than that of Clara’s
family, followed by a Wiccan ceremony. Plans got changed, but it still worked
out--perhaps better than planned.
When I arrived, I saw Raidon outside first, then Lorien, Mindy, Flower, Bobbie
and Yvette. Everyone else was somewhere else, most of them at school. Lorien,
Mindy, Bobbie and Raidon told me how much they liked going to Six Flags. Later
I learned that Yvette’s family treated it as virtually routine. I suppose for
them it is.
I saw Yvette’s new place, which is significantly larger than the trailer e was
living in, but is still not large and is anything but new. The house is worn,
and has a living room, a medium sized bedroom and a small bedroom, a kitchen, a
bathroom, a back porch of sorts, and a yard. Yvette talked about moving in
with Tim, but it seems e’s the only member of the family who has any enthusiasm
for that plan. According to Mindy, Vickie “hates it.”
I got recruited to play a computer game, and as usual demonstrated my keen lack
of skill. Josh has the ability to eat and drink and earn “lots of points” at
the same time. Then we all watched a tape of Yvette’s family, except for
Yvette, who moved in and out.
Lorien, Mindy and I wanted to meet together to go over some ideas we had for a
project, but we didn’t get a chance today. Hopefully that will happen
tomorrow. But what did happen today was quite interesting.
Lorien talked again about es situation with Fernando, and why it was a problem,
etc. Finally, I repeated what I said before, if a little more strongly: “It’s
your decision. Either ask him to be your boyfriend, stop dating him, or let
things continue the way they are.” While I’m usually diplomatic, sometimes I
get a little blunt with my friends, maybe more than I should. E didn’t like
any of those options, which is es dilemma.
Lorien, Mindy and I had a short time together with just the three of us. It
was long enough to discuss Yvette’s situation with Tim. None of us would have
put Tim on our top 10 list of best matches for Yvette. Mindy asked me if I
liked es Aunt Yvette, and I said I did. Then e said, “How much do you like
her?” Apparently, Mindy likes playing matchmaker.
We also talked briefly about Flower, who of course knows much less about me
than Lorien and Mindy do. Now Flower will know a little more.
Greg and Ima returned from their stay in a motel room, and most of us had lunch
together. Greg said the two of them like to give their kids a chance to be on
their own, and for Yvette to visit with es nieces and nephews. Mindy said Greg
and Ima like to have time to themselves. But it seemed beneficial all the way
around. Yvette, who currently works in a factory, took time off but has to
work tomorrow.
After Allen, Vickie and Josh got home from school, Lorien, Mindy, Flower,
Vickie and I went to help set things up for Clara’s birthday party. I had
thought Vickie’s boyfriend Austin was going to help as well, but e didn’t come
until the party was almost over. Apparently Dolly wanted the party at es house
instead of at Yvette’s. To clarify, Clara, who will be one year old Friday, is
the daughter of Dolly, who is the daughter of Claire. They and Joey, Dolly’s
fiance, all live together in a small two bedroom house. Dolly, who learned
that es mother’s previous year of home schooling didn’t hold much legal
validity, just started es freshman year of high school, so Dolly is essentially
a year behind. Claire said “Dolly learned real good” and it’s the “dumass
principal” who caused all the trouble.
Dolly talked quite a but about es plans to marry Joey, who in a twist on the
biblical tradition wants to be a father to the girl e thinks is the daughter of
es late brother Craig. When Dolly got pregnant at 13, e wasn’t sure if the
father was Eddie or another guy, so apparently the other guy was Craig. Looks
certainly can be deceiving and genetics aren’t always predictable, but from
having met es previous fiancee Eddie and having seen Craig’s photo, Clara doesn’
t look much like either one. Obviously, I didn’t say that. I do think Joey
seems better suited for em than Eddie. Both guys act overly possessive. But
Eddie was more demanding and aggressive, whereas Joey seems overprotective.
While I generally don’t think much of too much protection, which can take away
from preparation, Dolly hasn’t had much protection or control in es life, so
for Dolly it might be a good thing.
Lorien had been concerned about choosing appropriate games--what kind of games
can you plan for an almost one-year-old? We assured Lorien that as long as
someone paid attention to Clara, the games should be planned for the kids,
teens and adults who would be there. My primary responsiblities were moving
furniture because I’m strong, hanging decorations up high because I’m tall,
making up things to do in Balloon Sit because I’m silly, and blowing up
balloons because I have “lots of hot air.”
I took photos, and hoped my flash was working correctly with new batteries. I
took as many outside as reasonable, but you can’t expect a group of people, a
group that’s trying to explain to a one-year-old why e should try to blow out a
candle, to all move outside. So I shot photos with a flash and Jeannie played
substitute candle-blower-outer.
Another substitute that felt just a little eerie to me was the haunting
presence of Craig, the late brother of Joey who believes Craig to be the father
of Clara. Joey apparently insists that a photo of Craig be present at all
events involving Clara. This is done in the belief that not only will that
keep Clara from forgetting es father (whom I think Clara never met), but will
somehow enable Craig to see es daughter. I suppose that if such a belief is a
comfort to the family, then it is as valid as any other spiritual belief.
I’ll let Lorien describe the games we played except for one. For that game,
Lorien and Mindy both made me promise to “tell all about it” in my account, so
here goes. This game was the Cloved Lemon Kissing Game. One person gives a
closed lemon to someone; that person takes out a clove, generally with the
teeth (this to freshen the breath); and then that person indicates what type of
kiss they want. However, kisses should always be mutually agreeable. I had
prepared a lemon with a pair of clove lips, but Lorien and Mindy had already
made one with cloves in the shape of several hearts. There weren’t enough
people willing to play to support two lemons, so we used theirs.
We weren’t certain how people would react to the introduction of the game, but
they seemed to take it in stride. Yvette said Tim wouldn’t like it, but it was
Tim’s fault e pooped out on the party and left early. Greg and Ima seemed to
have no problem letting their kids participate, and obviously enjoyed it
themselves. They seemed to restrict their own kisses to others to pecks (I got
one from Ima myself), but played their own variation with each other. They put
two cloves in an apple, and after taking the cloves out put them back in again,
giving them to each other several times. They also got creative on the
location of their kisses, especially Greg. For a married couple, their playful
affection for each other was nice to see.
Joey gave Dolly “permission” for kisses on the cheek but not on the lips, but
to es credit e followed the same restrictions. I don’t believe Bobbie and
Flower even went beyond the peck on the lips level with each other, although
according to Mindy they do lip locks when no one else is around. But as Lorien
added, they use “no tongue.”
At one point, Mindy rather hesitantly gave the lemon to me, meaning I had
primary choice of the degree and body location of the kiss. I teased em a bit
by supposedly considering my foot, but then puckered for a peck on the lips.
I couldn’t resist giving the lemon to Lorien. E seemed a little anxious, and
asked, “How do you want to kiss me?” I said, “I took the initiative of giving
it to you, now you can take the initiative of choosing the kiss.” E hesitated
for a moment, then said, “Is anything ok?” I said, “Anything that doesn’t
require taking our clothes off.” That remark amused Allen no end. So Lorien
and I had our first French kiss, which was fun and quite nice. I got a few
pecks from some of the partiers, and a tongue kiss from one other person,
Fiona. Fiona is a friend of Yvette’s and apparently Claire’s second cousin
twice removed or some such thing. It seems like half the population of the
area are related to each other. In any case, the game continued throughout the
evening.
I got a chance to talk more with Greg and Ima, particularly with Ima, who was
getting a slight headache and wanted to know if I still rubbed feet.
Apparently it had helped before, so of course I volunteered, which got me a
waiting list of no-pay clients. But I didn’t mind.
We were a little concerned when we heard thunder, for Lorien and Mindy planned
to have the Wiccan ceremony outside, followed by drumming and bellydancing. It
actually rained very lightly, but didn’t last long, and was over before dark.
I don’t know how much I can write about the ceremony, for even though I’m not
Wiccan, I know that they often don’t like broadcasting their practices to
outsiders. This is primarily because Wicca is a non-evangelical religion, as
Lorien explained it.
We went to a relatively isolated area that Fiona described as being the place
“where the trees breathe the breath of spirits.” Lorien led the ceremony
assisted by Mindy, and those who attended in addition to myself were Dolly,
Joey (who didn’t sound particularly interested but wanted to make sure someone
didn’t cast some kind of evil hex on Dolly), Fiona, and surprisingly to Lorien
and Mindy, Bobbie and Flower. Fiona is a friend of Yvette’s who is apparently
pagan if not strictly Wiccan. I know only the most rudimentary elements of
paganism, but did see some similarities to Native American beliefs, especially
in the recognition of the elements. I enjoyed it, and Lorien and Mindy seemed
open to at least listening to Fiona’s ideas of “how you could do things.”
Dolly wanted to stay and dance with them, but Joey said e didn’t want her to,
“just in case.” It got me wondering if that meant “just in case Dolly’s
pregnant.” A financially-dependent mother who’s just started es freshman year
in high school, who doesn’t show a great deal of maturity even for a freshman,
who has a daughter who’ll be one year old tomorrow, who may be pregnant again;
that doesn’t sound like the best of combinations.
In any case, they said they would tell Allen where we were so e could drum with
me. I am an adequate drummer, but greatly prefer drumming with someone else.
While we were waiting for Allen, Lorien and Mindy showed Fiona and Flower some
basic bellydancing moves. Apparently it was more of a refresher for Flower.
Lorien, Mindy and Flower wore bikini tops so their bellies would be visible,
but Fiona folded her shirt up and tied it so it came just below her bust. I
drummed for them a little, but as Lorien and Mindy would suddenly stop to give
instructions, my drumming was a little sporatic.
Allen brought a drum that’s similar to a bongo, but I don’t remember the
technical term for it. While Allen isn’t primarily a percussionist, e picked
up rhythms very quickly, almost as if e had remembered them from when I showed
em a year ago. E can drum faster than I, but had a little more difficulty
retaining the beat. But it was a pleasure drumming with em.
Our dancers had very different styles. Lorien seems to dance from the head and
heart about equally, Mindy more from the head, Fiona from the heart, and Flower
from the head and then suddenly from the heart. It’s difficult to describe the
differences, and I was more focused on my and Allen’s drumming, but it was a
nice session. The girls showed Allen how to dance briefly, and e did so with
great enthusiasm, if not polished style. They asked me to dance, but I said
then who would drum? Apparently, they had tapes of music for bellydancing, but
had forgotten to bring them. Bobbie neither drummed nor danced, but I saw es
hands move a bit as Allen and I were going over rhythms, and saw em sway to the
music. I think Bobbie wanted to drum and dance, but didn’t.
The cloved lemon somehow made its way to the bellydancing and drumming session,
so I got some more kisses, which was nice. However, my internal oral
experience was limited to just the same two extra tongues. The Cloved Lemon
Kissing Game is really more of a playful form of intimacy than it is a game,
but it is fun. The lemon I made never got used, but it wasn’t really necessary.
I wanted to take photos of the dancing and drumming, but getting good shots of
a moving subject using only the light from a flash is difficult, at least for
me. I suppose I should practice shooting more flash-only photos, but the
quality is so often poor.
I began to wonder where I was spending the night. Even though Yvette has a
larger home than before, it’s still relatively small for all the guests. Greg
and Ima had talked about possibly spending another private night tonight in the
motel, which I suspect was at least partially inspired by the Cloved Lemon
Kissing Game. I like to think my foot rub to relieve Ima’s headache helped as
well.
Fiona said I could spend the night at es place, but Lorien and Mindy insisted I
stay at Yvette’s. From what they said later, I’m not sure if that was
primarily because they wanted more time to visit with me, or whether they were
trying to rescue me from Fiona’s supposed advances. In any case, I was
assigned to stay at Yvette’s and to sleep in Allen’s “bed,” which is a fold out
couch. The plan for tomorrow is to see a movie and go horseback riding, but
plans may change.
Copyright 2006 by The Loveshade Family
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