| SePtEmBeR 23 - 28 2005 |
| Friday September 23 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS Deno is still asking me for another date. Really thats kewl but I have to date somebody else first. I like Deno but Im not looking for a boyfriend right now. Im spending the weekend with Becky and Daddy and plan to see my other friends. But I have to find time to do homework. later Im at Beckys and Kevins here! If u dont know hes her older brother and hes totally kewl. Hes going to college and he builds things he even made robots when he was in high school. His b-day is Sunday hell be 21. Beth their sisters here too of course shell be 19 tomorrow. Their other sister Joni whos 25 and married to Andre will be here tomorrow for their birthday party. Of course they wish Leon was here. He was a great father and I miss him a lot too. Becky and I r going to work on his tribute. Ok Becky doesnt want me writing my diary all day. But she has to let me get some homework done this weekend! Saturday September 24 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I saw Daddy and my cuzins today with Becky and Herbie came over! I know Herbie was happy to see me. He gets depressed cuz he misses being my boyfriend poor Herbie. Sometimes I really feel sorry for him. Hes a great guy. But guess what Becky did? She told Daddy that Mommys dating American! She straight up knew I was going to tell him. But she said I was taking forever to do it she didnt think Id ever tell him anything. But it was weird cuz Daddy acted like he didnt even care. I think he just said “ok” or something like that. But guess what? The kids were watching TV so Daddy said he had to go pick something up at the hardware store. Isnt that kewl? Cuz u know when Daddy doesnt want to deal with something he watches TV especially the news. And if he cant do that or if hes really upset then he goes to the hardware store or someplace else just so he can get out of the house. So u know hes upset that Mommys dating American and thats good! Maybe hell do something about it. later OMG I might have an AWFUL problem! First Ill tell u what else happened today. Becky said we had to go to Cassies. But I was wondering why did she say we had to go? And then Herbie wanted to come with us. So I was like what were they planning? So then I let Herbie know that Cassie and Micky have webcams at their apartment and they have them on all the time. So then he wasnt sure about going but he decided to go anyway. But then Becky told him they even have a bathroom cam. So it was funny cuz Herbie said he had to go to the bathroom right b4 we left! lol Of course really they can turn the cam off if u want them to. Anyway when we got there Jethro was there. I havent seen him in a long time. He and Cassie used to date I think like two years ago. Anyway we all just hung out. But then Cassie said Jethro and Herbie should talk cuz she and Becky had something to talk to me about. So we went in her bedroom and they said they had a surprise for me. Guess what they gave me? Another dildo! The one they gave me for Christmas is 12 inches long but this one is a lot smaller. Its only 6 inches long and it has balls too. But Cassie said the best part is it isnt as big around. Cuz I straight up couldnt get the other one in. But she said this one might fit! So I gave them both hugs cuz that was totally cool. I dont want to be a virgin for the rest of my life! But then Cassie said I should try it right then. And I was like I am straight up not trying my dildo on bedroom cam! LMAO But really I did want to use it. ;) Ok I promised Becky I wouldnt write this forever. We had a birthday party for Kevin and Beth. Ive known them for a long time but I never go to their birthdays. Phoebe whos Beths best friend was there too but Amin couldnt be there. He was Kevins best friend in high school. Joni and Andre were there too and so was Aunt Eva. I also got to meet Hiti shes Kevins girlfriend and they might start living together! I never met her b4 but shes kewl. Shes a little bit quiet but she loves to laugh shes sweet. Anyway we didnt really do much for their birthday just have dinner and cake and ice cream. Kevin said his big party is at midnight cuz thats when he turns 21. He and some friends r going to bars and hes going to get totally drunk! A lot of ppl say ur supposed to see how much u can drink between midnight and 2 a.m. when the bars clothes. But dont worry cuz they r definitely having a designated driver. Not everybodys happy about it especially Beth. She said thats how they lost their Daddy was cuz of a drunk driver! But Kevin told everybody hes not going to drink and drive and he wont let anybody else either. Hitis not going to drink at all so hes safe. He said ppl want him to drink 21 drinks b4 2 a.m. cuz some ppl do that. But hes not drinking that much cuz thats just stupid. U can get alcohol poisoning and some ppl have even died from doing that! He said he just wants to drink one drink every 20 minutes and thats 6 so thats ok. Ok I have to tell u what I am totally upset about. Rocky told me I have to be careful what I do with Mindy when I turn 18! And I was like whats up with that? But he said if Im 18 and shes 14 I could get in major trouble! That is just stupid! I dont mean Rocky is stupid so dont think that! Hes Harmonys friend and hes like Harmony he gives me really good advice. But how can I get in trouble for doing something with Mindy? Shes one of my best friends! Shes my spiritual sister and shes my soulmate. So can we get in trouble for sharing the love we have for each other? How can they make laws against love? Laws r so STUPID! And somebody said I really wont be any older than Mindy on my birthday than I am now. Its like if ur 3 years older than someone ur always 3 years older than them it doesnt matter if u have a birthday or not. But the law says it does! Cuz when I turn 18 Mindy will still be 14. So what am I going to do when I turn 18? Do I have to stop loving Mindy? Weve been soul bounded through the ages. Can a man made law break that bond? Can it say love is wrong? Sometimes I dont even like America. Some laws r laws against love. And laws against love r evil! If ppl love each other they should be able to share that love with each other and the law has no right to say they cant. It shouldnt matter how old u r or what ur sex is or what color u r or anything. Love is love. But what am I going to do when I turn 18? I know Mindys not going to report me of course! And my best friends arent either. But then Im like I post everything we do in my diary. So should I post my diary when I turn 18? I use pseudonyms but still. What if somebody who knows us reads my diary? Even with pseudonyms wont they know who we r? Sunday September 25 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I am still totally upset about this stupid age thing. What do I do when I turn 18? But Im not going to write anymore about that. I spent a lot of time with Daddy and my cuzins. I dont even feel like writing much about it cuz Im still upset. At least I got some homework done but it was hard to concentrate. I should have gone with Herbie and Stacy to see Carie cuz she just had her 12th b-day. I used to babysit her when she was little shes a great girl. But I didnt feel like doing anything. I havent even posted my diary cuz I dont want Mindy to read this til I tell her about our problem. I have to tell her I just dont know how! Monday September 26 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS The day I turn 18 I think Ill stop posting my diary and I mean forever! Perry always said the Government was corrupt and there was a lot of conspiracies and I never used to believe him. But I do now. Hes totally right. U cant trust the Government u cant trust the police and u cant trust the laws. They arrested a good friend of mine like three years ago for nothing. They took everything he had even my diary! He didnt even tell me that for a long time cuz he didnt want me to worry. They never talked to me but still. They kept his stuff for two years b4 they gave it back and then they found out he didnt even do anything wrong. But he still went to jail! I wish more ppl would vote Libertarian. The word Libertarian doesnt mean liberal it means free. We believe in freedom and of course I believe if it harms none do as you will. Thats a Wiccan belief. I used to think Republicans and Democrats were ok but now Im not sure. I think theres good ppl in both but they arent working for freedom. I think ppl who r in power r working for greed. Its like the war in Iraq. They didnt even have any Weapons of Mass Destruction and really the Government knew that. They just wanted to invade so we could steal their oil. But it didnt even work cuz gas prices went really high! Theyre finally coming down but theyre still a lot higher than they were b4 the war! And innocent ppl r getting killed everyday. Just because ur in the military doesnt mean u arent innocent. Some ppl join cuz they really believe in America and they want to do what is right to defend our freedoms. But when they get there and see what is really happening then they want to come back home. The war is not about freedom its about greed. War is always about greed. Either u want somebody elses land or their technology or u want to force ur religion on ppl. And forcing ur religion on ppl is greed. U want everybody to come to ur side so u can control what they think and get more power. Thats what theyre even doing in America. They want to force ppl to teach that theres one God who made everything. If u want to know more about it then check the ACLU. I joined them cuz they really fight for freedom. How can the Government force public schools to teach Christianity? They dont force them to teach Wiccan beliefs cuz they dont say theres a God and Goddess they say theres just a God. And they dont force them to teach that theres no God. They should just teach kids science which is what we know is true. They shouldnt mix science with religion not in school! later Mindys here with me shes spending the night. I just told her about the age problem when I turn 18. Poor Mindy! She acts like shes not worried about it but I know it really bothers her a lot. It bothers me too! How can we not share our love with each other cuz Im going to have a birthday? And its not like were lesbian lovers cuz we arent were soulmates! Im not even lesbian or bi Im straight. I experimented a little and so did Mindy but thats all. But we didnt even experiment with each other! When we lie naked together or take showers and baths together or do sharies together its a beautiful and spiritual sharing. And when I nurse her it shows how were bound together cuz she was my daughter in a past life. Its a beautiful expression of our love. So how can that be illegal? later Ok I decided something and Mindys going to help me. Ill still write my diary til the day I turn 18 and then thats it! After that Im not posting it anymore not even using pseudonyms. And Im not going to write it so long anymore either cuz Ive been writing too much. Im not even getting my homework done. But what Ill do is Ill write more about things that I think should change. I want to work to make this a better world and so does Mindy. Im going to write more about important issues and things we can do to help ppl. Ill still write about my life cuz thats what Im living. But Ill write less about stupid stuff and more about what I believe is really important. But I will still write about sharing my love with Mindy! Ill write about that a lot til the day I turn 18. I wont write it anymore after that but u know its straight up not going to stop! I love my Tinkie and she loves her Cuppy. We love each other very much! Nothing will stop the love we have for each other as spiritual sisters and soulmates. The law wont stop it and the Government wont stop it and we wont stop it. We will not stop sharing our love! Tuesday September 27 2005 Dear Mr Biggles Kimberly is driving me crazy! She keeps talking about Justin. If u dont know Mindy is babysitting Brandi and Dustin and really shes babysitting Justin too. Justin is their older brother hes 12 so he shouldnt need a babysitter but he does. Its weird cuz sometimes Flower helps Mindy and shes only 11! Brandi is 7 and Dustin is 5 1/2 but still. But Mindys not getting paid for him which is totally unfair! I should take turns having Justin but its harder since school started. And I really think Charlotte and Gus r having major problems so that makes it hard too. I hope they work them out! later I have another problem! I am not going to spend all my time writing about it so here it is. I tried using my new dildo which is a lot smaller than my old one. But I couldnt get it in either! This sucks! Im not going to write all the juicy details like I did last time cuz I tried the same things I did with my old one. If u want to know what I did read what I wrote like a week ago. But it hurt too much this time too and I straight up couldnt get it in! Does that mean I have to get surgery? I dont want to ask some doctor to cut me open downstairs so I can stick a dildo inside me! So I dont know what to do. Germana said she would help me if I needed her to but I know she really doesnt want to. Shes a great friend shes one of my best friends. But I dont want to make her do something she doesnt want to do. Oh Germana said I shouldnt worry about the problem about sharing my love with Mindy cuz nobodys going to report it anyway. But I said what if somebody who knows me IRL reads my diary and figures out who I am? But then she said if Im worried about that then why do I post it at all? Really I dont know. I like ppl reading my diary I dont know why. But not if Im going to get in trouble! But I cant get in trouble for doing sharies with Mindy when Im still 17. I hope not! Anyway Mindy cant really help me with my problem downstairs cuz shes never put anything inside herself. Laura lives in Chicago and Becky doesnt really want to. So Germanas the only one who can help me. I really want it to be one of my best friends cuz I wouldnt feel comfortable with anybody else. But is that fair to Germana? Wednesday September 28 2005 Dear Mr BiGgLeS I have to tell ppl I do not need any more volunteers to help me get a dildo in! LMAO And ppl sending me pics of themselves is kewl. But looking at ur pic is not going to help me push something inside myself! lol Really Im worried about it. What if Germana tries to help me and that doesnt work either? But I have to do it. I dont want to be a virgin the rest of my life! And if I cant get a dildo in then u know its not going to work with a guy! I thought I could do it this next weekend but Im going back to see Daddy. He wants me there every weekend but I cant really do that. And Im nervous about getting my photo taken tomorrow. Im not going to a studio cuz it costs too much. Really u can get ur portrait done really cheap and they do a good job! I still dont know if Im going to get something new to wear or not. My hair looks fine right now I hope it looks ok tomorrow! Im glad I got my teeth cleaned Monica did that of course shes Germanas Mom. This isnt just another pic its my senior portrait! I dont know I feel like I dont even like being a senior! I have all these decisions and I dont even want to write about all that. Its like what do I put in the year book and what college am I going to and how do I get scholarships and when do I take the SAT and how do I get ready for it and where am I going to live and everything. There is so much to decide! Mr. Lipton is helping me. He said I have a good GPA and he said my volunteer work and babysitting can help! I didnt know it could but he said it helps u learn responsibility cuz u have to take care of things on ur own. I really should volunteer more. And of course Im already in college but a four year college is different. I should ask Benny what he did. I think hes going to graduate in December which is weird. I used to think u could only graduate at the end of the year. I still dont know when were bringing in Dolphinia. Its weird thinking my coven will finally have its 13th member. I think Ill see her this weekend shes kewl. We want to do it on Halloween but its hard cuz thats on a Monday and it makes it hard for everbody in my branch to get out there. I wish Halloween was on the weekend this year like it usually is. |
| Copyright 2005 by Lorien Loveshade |
| My DiArY! |
| I might have an awful problem! |
| I am totally upset about a MAJOR problem! |
| There should not be laws against love! |
| I have to get some homework done! |
| Becky told my Daddy that Mommys dating American! |
| Cassie and Becky gave me a present thats six inches long! ;) |
| I went to Kevin and Beths b-day party. |
| I am still upset. |
| U cant trust the Government u cant turst the laws and u cant trust the police. |
| Ill write my diary until the day I turn 18 and thats it! |
| Theyre fighting for greed and trying to destroy freedom in America! |
| How can we not share our love with each just because Im having a birthday? |
| I couldnt get my new present in either! |
| I dont want to be a virgin for the rest of my life! |
| I feel like I dont even like being a senior! |